This is kind of a long complicated story. I will try to compress....
H (and I ) used to own a very successful Chiropractic Office in NC. I worked there occasionally, but even though I had over 10 years of management experience , hiring ,giving performance reviews, setting goals, etc. I had very limited input. I was raising 3 kids , so I tried not to let it bother me that even if I had the tiniest suggestion H would do the exact opposite thing. We moved back to MN about 3 years ago to be near our family. H (and I ) opened up another Chiropractic office in MN. We hired a nanny , and I went to work full time. We fought . Alot. He would fight my ideas even if they were the right thing to do. H got arrested 4 months after we opened. Long story short, the business failed.
H decided to open up an office in another location with a partner. During this time , I filed for divorce. Then we got back together. H and his partner moved locations again. There business did OK, but not well enough for H to pay the house payment. We got deeper and deeper into debt. We broke up and got back together , I honestly don't even know how many times. Several. Without telling me , H dissolved his partnership with his business partner. He did this only on paper. They were still functioning as partners, with H doing most of the work. But without legal ties, H legally did not show much income. Fast forward to this summer. H and I were together, barely. My mother was terminally ill. My friend owned a teeth whitening business in another city. She told me it would be a great job for me, I could set my own hours and own my own business. H and I discussed it would be great for our family to have the extra income, and give me something to feel good about. H started texting and calling my friend without my knowledge. H was asking alot of detailed questions about what was intented to be my business.
We started to have alot of conversations with my friend. It seemed like something I really wanted to do, I was excited to have something of my own. I talked to my dad about borrowing money. H and I decided since his business wasn't doing well with his partner, he and I would share a space, he would do Chiropractic , I would do teeth whitening. We even negotiated a lease. During this time we found out our house was being foreclosed on. We started really going through our financials and realized we could not get out of the mountain of debt having a failing business created. We decided to declare bankruptcy. Our joint business venture would have to wait. We couldn't open a new business until the bankruptcy was over. It would take about 3 months. Some time during all of this my mother passed away. I'm not sure the exact timing , it was all a blur.
H was not happy about waiting to open the business. In fact he was rather unhappy. He wanted me to have my father just put it in his name until everything was clear. I said no, we could just wait, it would give us time to prepare. I should of seen the wheels turning in his head. H wants what he wants. H sold the idea of teeth whitening to his business partner, who was technically his boss, since H had no legal claim to the practice anymore. They decided to do it in their office. Without asking me or telling me. He kept it from me for I don't know how long. I think the equipment had already been ordered before I found out. I was very angry when I found out, one of the conditions of H being back at the house was no more lying. He had lied a million times so I didn't find out he had stabbed me in the back. My dream of having something of my own was gone. Not only that , but if the business was successful the profits wouldn't even be ours.
H claimed he was just thinking of our family, we needed to make more money. H claimed I could still open my own business someday, that it didn't matter if we were direct competition.When I asked H if I could help him do teeth whitening at his office, since I didn't have a job, and he needed help, his response was NO. His business partner didn't want me in their office. H had moved out again, I made it clear I did not want to break up, and I would not date anyone or get involved in any way with any other man, and he agreed he would do the same.I actually forgave him, and we were going to try to work it out again. Until the night my 12 year old was upset with H , and said " You only care about your girlfriend!"
Of course I rose to H's defense, " That was along time ago, when Mom and Dad were getting divorced , Dad doesn't have a girlfriend now" to which my son said " Oh yeah,, then why did we go to a movie with her and her 3 kids 2 days ago?"
Fast forward to today, I'm moving out of my foreclosed house. H s teeth whitening business just made $17,000 in one day off an add they placed on the Internet. H s business partner isn't even in this state, he left H to run everything. And when I asked if H if he would be able to give me more money this month because I have proof his business is working, his response " I didn't make any money, I'm just an employee." Also , he is telling people my friends company trained him!!! Lie , lie , lie......
So the moral of this really long , somewhat boring story is this. H didn't really want a teeth whitening business, H did not want me to have my own business. So he stole my idea for a business to help our family , and now hes saying it wont even help our family. We had decided he would take the kids on Wednesday nights and of course something came up so he couldn't, ( he was very busy at work, NOT making any money ) , and now he thinks he should be able to take them Saturday, because they're like toys for him to play with. I feel like I am fighting King Kong, he knows how to play the system and is always one step ahead of me. I need to get a lawyer involved, because he thinks he only has to give me money when he wants to. He is alot of things , but stupid isn't one of them. He will just tell his "partner" how much income he wants to show. And that's what my child support will be based on. I understand he hates me, why does he want to hurt our kids? Its not like I'm getting manicures, I'm buying groceries.This is why abused women don't leave.
You have to weigh the pain. Which will be worse?? Getting abused and sharing a house, or getting abused and being completely and utterly alone??
Honestly, I'm not sure yet........
I'm sorry for the rambling today, I'm just amazed at how many ways someone can hurt you.......
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