caged animal

I keep having conflicts with people in my life. People I love and care about, people who love and care about me. They say I am overly sensitive and take there words all wrong. I say I am a caged animal looking to stay alive. I am overly sensitive.My life depended on it. I am always looking for hidden meanings in peoples innocent words. In the past if I let my guard down, or believed H had "good " intentions there would be serious repurcussions. I take help and advice for control and judgement. I know this, but I will not apologize for feeling this way. The ONLY thing someone who has been abused needs is love and support. And for those of you who feel my abuse was in my past and I need to get over it,,,,, you just don't get it. It is not a choice for me,,,the fear is still there daily. H still enters my mind hourly. I am still scared of the repurcussions. It is getting better, but it is not gone.  Would you excpect a POW to be "normal " after a few months. I am taking care of my kids, I am taking care of my life, I am working, paying bills ,trying to do the right thing.  I'm sorry I am not enough for all of you.......just like I wasn't enough for H. On a side note whenever anyone says" After all I did for you!"  maybe they should'nt of done it in the first place. If your helping someone to get something in return, don't help,  if your helping someone to " buy" an opinion, don't help.