A letter to H

H-

The systematic way you turned me into a person that couldn't fight back, disgusts me. The fact that you turned my life into a life only lived for you angers me. If a stranger had done the things to me that you have done they would be in prison. Or at the very least shunned by society. The thought of you walking in the world laughing and smiling makes me vomit. The scariest thing to me is that our children , beautiful and innocent, share your DNA. The fiction that runs through your brain every second of every day is laughable. If someone was raped in a dark alley, they certainly wouldn't be expected to be pleasant to there rapist at trial. To calmy work out custody issues, and be accommodating. There is a part  of me dark, and heavy like stone, that will  never recover, never fully trust anyone again. But there is a part of me that grows stronger everyday that whirls and twirls like a top, spinning , spinning and is about to shatter the illusion of you. I realize now, despite your best efforts, it didn't work, I am not broken.  I was in a dream, full of false beliefs, false hopes and a false sense of who I was. I am awake, and what I see when I look at you  is a disgusting human being, who I know in my heart is capable of anything.

Anything  , but destroying me.